Saturday, August 20, 2005
How can I be happy for someone and sad about what's going on with them at the same time. I suppose it happens all the time to me, but sometimes it becomes really obvious. Julia has been growing up for 22 years now. I was happy when she was a big girl and could go to school. But I still cried the first time we drove up and instead of walking her in, I just dropped her at the front door and she took it from there.
I was very happy when she entered Trinity to study linguistics, just as she wanted to do.
But I cried when we left her in the parking lot of her dormitory and drove away.
Now I am very happy that she has married Viggo. I am very happy that they are on the first leg of their journey together. Living in Norway. But once again, I cried when I thought of her moving so far away.
The crying is selfish I suppose. These are good things that Julia has experienced. And I think I would be sad for her if she could only think to hang around here in Philomath, unmarried, without a goal to work towards. So since she is doing all these wonderful things, the only real problem is that I realize how long it will be between times when I hug her and tell her face to face how much I love her. That is not a selfish thing to want. However, I want to care more for her happiness than for my opportunity to enjoy being with her. And really, I do. I don't cry all the time. In fact I seldom cry at all. But I do feel some sadness when I remember that my little girl is now a grown woman and is far away. Now would be a good time for me to remember that our spirits are in fellowship and that once this brief life on earth has passed, we will have all of eternity to visit each other whenever we like.
The attached picture is how I choose to remember one of the happiest and most moving times in my life.