Purpose

 I want purpose.  I have purpose.  How can I serve my purpose?

When I say I want a purpose, I am thinking primarily of a reason for me to go on living, or perhaps, why am I alive at all?  I am not content with self gratification as a reason for living. Were I more comfortable than I typically am, perhaps I could be seduced into thinking that comfort was enough.  But I am not.  I live each day and most hours as a struggle.

As God's creation, I have purpose.  I am instructed to love God and to love my neighbor as myself.  I have gradually attained some understanding of what it means to love another person.  Listening to them.  Acknowledging them.  Giving to them.  Serving them.  Waiting for them.  Forgiving them.  Encouraging them.

I have gifts, skills, and time.  How much of these do I use to further my purpose, and how much do I squander on a foolish attempt to gratify my self?  Using 100% of my gifts, skills, and time is the goal.  I suspect that I use far less than that.  I ask God to help me move ahead, to improve, to grow, and to be at peace.

Help me Lord.  I am doomed to failure without you.