Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A Thing I Cannot Remember

I do not remember my father saying "I love you" to me. Not those words. Nor any words that are truly synonymous.

Maybe he did say it. Maybe I was just a baby. Maybe it was so rare that I have lost it. I don't know. I do not remember.
My Dad loved me very much. For whatever reasons he had to show it by his actions rather than his words. I would much rather have just actions than just words. Most of my life I wished that he had used both. It's over now. He has been dead for years. I was at peace with this matter when he died.

I am confident that I have often told my children that I love them. I made a point of doing so a lot. A whole lot.

What I wonder is this: Where is my blind spot? What have I failed to do or say? Was it with my children, or someone else that I care about deeply? Who will be missing an important memory because I could not provide something they needed?

Each day that passes I get more opportunities to do better. I cannot change the days already passed. May God grant me the wisdom to improve. My life is passing quickly.

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