This day seems to grind on forever. I'm continuing to taper down the narcotics. The latest drop in dose is kicking me hard w/ depression, lethargy, and a sense that I have always felt like this and always will, forever.
The crazy thing is that this has easily been the shortest decade in my life. I'm 57 and 60 will be here before I can blink. How can the days be long and the years short? I have wondered that many, many times.
I just watched a music video that I wish every teen and twenty something could stash away and watch a few decades later. Johnny Cash in Hurt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
A Thing I Cannot Remember
I do not remember my father saying "I love you" to me. Not those words. Nor any words that are truly synonymous.
Maybe he did say it. Maybe I was just a baby. Maybe it was so rare that I have lost it. I don't know. I do not remember.
My Dad loved me very much. For whatever reasons he had to show it by his actions rather than his words. I would much rather have just actions than just words. Most of my life I wished that he had used both. It's over now. He has been dead for years. I was at peace with this matter when he died.
I am confident that I have often told my children that I love them. I made a point of doing so a lot. A whole lot.
What I wonder is this: Where is my blind spot? What have I failed to do or say? Was it with my children, or someone else that I care about deeply? Who will be missing an important memory because I could not provide something they needed?
Each day that passes I get more opportunities to do better. I cannot change the days already passed. May God grant me the wisdom to improve. My life is passing quickly.
Maybe he did say it. Maybe I was just a baby. Maybe it was so rare that I have lost it. I don't know. I do not remember.
My Dad loved me very much. For whatever reasons he had to show it by his actions rather than his words. I would much rather have just actions than just words. Most of my life I wished that he had used both. It's over now. He has been dead for years. I was at peace with this matter when he died.
I am confident that I have often told my children that I love them. I made a point of doing so a lot. A whole lot.
What I wonder is this: Where is my blind spot? What have I failed to do or say? Was it with my children, or someone else that I care about deeply? Who will be missing an important memory because I could not provide something they needed?
Each day that passes I get more opportunities to do better. I cannot change the days already passed. May God grant me the wisdom to improve. My life is passing quickly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
